Mix Urdu/Hindi Jokes Update 2018

 

Waps al lo

Pathan dua mangta howa

ya rb tu na buchpan diya, waps la liya

jwani di waps la li

pesa diya waps la liya

Biwi di, da k bhool hi gaya???

raham frma mula raham frma…..

 

Chai pene chaleen

Hasband apni Wife sa  aj bahi chai pena chaleen,

wife: Ku aj kiya howa

Hasband: kuch nahi chai wale cup dho dho kr tung a gaya hoon

 

Cakh kr gaya hai

Ek bacha gali main khal raha tha, Ek kuta aya or bacha ka paoo chat kr chala gaya  bacha rota howa ghar waps aya

to ma na pocha kahi kuta na kat to nahi liya

bacha bola nahi aj cakh kr gaya hai kl katna ae ga

 

Hasband

WO dond sara din sahil sumandr pr picnic krna k bad waps ja rahe tha to boy na preshan ho kr girl sa pocha

; Tum ghar ja kr apni ami ko to nahi btao gi

Girl: nahi ya to mera husband hai jo trha trha k sawal pochta hai maei ma ko koi prwa nahi….

 

Cooking class

Wife apna Husband sa

kl sa main cooking class join krna nahi jaoo gi

Husband: wo ku??

Wife aj muj sa galti sa kuch jal gaya…

Husband: koi bat nahi bharpai kr daeen ga.. wesa kiya jala?

Wife: Class Room…

 

Ka Ka ….!

Ladki wale: abhi hum na apni bati ki shadi anhi krni wo abhi pr rahi hai..

Ladka wala: too hmara beta kon sa ka ka hai jo us ki books phard da ga…

 

Murgi ka anda

ali: aj hmari murgi na anda diya

amjad: To is main kon si bardi bat hai

Ali: agar bardi bat nahi to tum da kr dikhao…

 

Kalam ki ahmiyat

Baba g khta hain kalm ki ahmiyat talwar sa ziyada hai

ku k….

..

..

Kalam sa nara dala ja skta hai talwar sa nahi

 

Gulam

Chota lfz insan ko gulam bna deta hain

jesa kkkk

Kabool hai…

kabool hai…

kabool hai…

 

mila ho tum….

Arz kiya hai

MIla ho tum hm ko bara tavizo  sa, curaya hai main na tum ko

sana, hina anila sa

 

100 ka not

ek sardar ko bazar sa so ka not mila jis pr likha tha “eid mubarak”

sardar na wo not jaab main dalta howa kha

kair mubarak

 

Kaboo

Biwi ko kabo krna itna muskil hai jitna lastic tot jana pr shlwar ko kabo krna

 

Halwa ya murgi..

kisi na molvi sa pocha halwa khao ga ya murgi

molvi thori daeer shoch kr bola allah tuma is trha muskil main dale jesa tum na mujha dala hai

 

1 KM

ek ship doob raha tha

caption na pocha zameen kitni door hai

sardar: 1 KM

Caption pani main jump lga kr kis trf ??

Sardar: thala noo. thala noo..

 

katrina kaif

Aj bhi wo sardi main mr rahi hai faraz

main na ek bar kha tha suitor ka bager katrina kaif lagti ho

 

Father / Childhood

EK sarabi qbrstan main sarab pi rahatha

uper sa police a gai,

Police: tum yaha kiya kr rahe ho??

Sarabi: apna walid ki qbr pr dua krna aya hoon?

Police: ya to kisi chota bacha ki qbr hai

Sarabi: Wo asl main mera baap bachpan (childhood) main mr gaya tha…

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